Why some lures work when others don't     I will not watch any fishing program at 5:30 on Saturday morning, especially where the host(s)says, "goooood fee-yush". I won't make any effort to get out of bed and turn on the set when I know the before-sunrise-television menu is loaded with yahoos who accidently stumbled upon a north-country lake and start calling their catches "walleye pike". And I certainly won't waste my time late Sunday evening watching some mis-placed gene-pool escapee, with his back to the camera for 15 minutes, go on about the 5 lb. bass he just caught, when in reality it was only 1 lbs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night. So instead of laying there, tossing and turning, risking the wrath of my wife, I'll ease my body into the den. I'll usually look for an old movie so I can be gently lulled back to dreamland by some corny, old dialogue. But like many of you, curiosity generally gets the better of me and I find myself channel surfing through an ocean of programs known as info-mercials. Ouch. It's not enough that the no-neck, short stubby finger, dirty hand crowd has the market cornered on some of the channels with their good-old-boy, back slapping routines every time they jerk the jaws of some crappie or bass. Nope--it's obviously not enough, since it appears relatives of these characters are standing on top of huge tanks throwing magic lures to real, honest-to-goodness, waiting-for-something-to-chew-on gamefish. This spectacular feat takes a full half hour. I doze for a bit and then wake up on the couch, bathed in perspiration, desperately searching for the remote control. I blindly switch to another channel, and lo and behold, there's another cadre of true-believers, standing near the water, wildly tossing baits and lures into the great beyond. All you need is a telephone, a credit card, plus a burning desire to part with $30-plus bucks. I told my wife I am in the wrong business. She agreed. I am not saying any of these lures, baits and contraptions aren't worth the salt they're packed in. I won't dare to utter and negatives about any lure. My mother-in-law says there is always something positive to say about everyone and everything that comes into our peripheral vision. There are fish swimming somewhere that will view these particular offerings as the greatest main course since fish pellets tossed in to a trout pond. Bob Shirley, one of the major-domos of the Ed Shirley Sports organization told me he wished he had another 300 kits of that special musical lure that is touted in one of those info-mercials I spoke of. In reality, all this stuff and activity is what makes the world go around and the cash registers jingle. And yes--some of these gizmos catch fish and fishermen alike. Several years ago Alex appeared out of no-where, on the tube, with his "amazing" Flying Lure. It was an instant love affair between angler and marketeer. Some of my colleagues called the Lure the Vega-Matic of fishing baits. Roland then showed up with a surface, spinning, contraption (Helicopter Lure) that was mistaken by some folks as a device used to transport motorists over traffic jams during Chicago's infamous rush hours. Now joining the pack of « hour television pitchmen is Orlando Wilson, the pride of the Peach State. I get a letter from Orlando's affiliated company asking me if I would like to try Orlando's revolutionary new fishing lure? I said, "sure, send it up here." I headed for one of my local hot-spot ponds I know that has a good supply of largemouth and catfish. If I told you I knocked them dead with the Jumping Jig I would be lying. Up against a Little Action Mac pre-rigged worm or a Mini-Mite, this latest invention was as effective as a magic wand. Sorry Orlando, but maybe I should be fishing the Jumping Jig while standing on one of those "Hawg-Troughs" my readers like to go stare at while visiting the Chicagoland Sportfishing and Outdoors Show. Look--All of this info-mercial stuff is alright, if you want to be the first on your block to have a new lure or collapsible fishing rod. I would like to believe all of the products I see during those early and late dark hours on television will catch fish on some body of water. I've said for years that most lures will catch some fish if you place it in the fish zone. That's the area where fish live, look for food and their comfort zone. And where is that secret place, you ask? 9 times out of 10 the spot to examine will be right, smack on the bottom, near some weeds, near a slight or exaggerated drop-off, a gravel bottom, or behind some rocks forming a holding, quiet area, in a fast-current situation. Now, for that 10th time, your chances of finding some creature from the black lagoon will be highly enhanced if you spend another $39.95 for some of the tasty morsels at your local fish counter. At least you won't have to wait the customary six weeks to taste the bounty of the sea. ©copyright 1997, Mike Jackson Outdoors